Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

To die in the rain. Alone.

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
simple as that.

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of

I invented the chicken!

Did I miss one?

Where's my gun?

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Have your own reason why did the poor chicken cross the road? Drop a note.

Monday, May 19, 2008

It aint over till it's over - well it's over.

“If we had same rules as the Republicans, I would be the nominee right now,” she said.

…and if grandma was male, she’d be grandpa.

if Obama had never been born, Hillary would be the nominee right now. It’s a fair point.

If I had been born to a lawyer rather than an Air Force enlisted man, I might have gone to an Ivy League school instead of a state university in my adulthood.

If I hadn’t gotten married and had a child so young, I might be a CEO somewhere…. or not.

Some very funny, insightful and entertaining comments here:

Friday, May 16, 2008

Email from Indian Railways Online Ticket booking service

The following is an email my brother received a few days back. I am thoroughly impressed with this level of service.
To: ********
Subject: Email From IRCTC
Date: Thu, 1 May 2008 04:27:13 +0530

Dear Customer,

Thank you for using IRCTC's online rail ticket booking services.
From 1st April?08 Railway has revised the passenger fares. As you have booked tickets prior to 1st-April?08 an amount of Rs.31.00 towards the difference of fare for the ticket booked vide PNR No 2346***863 has been issued to electronic payment gateway on 04/30/2008 08:09:28 PM. Same shall appear in your account within two to three working days. You are requested to please check with your credit card issuing banks regarding the same. We regret the delay if any, in crediting back the refunds.
We solicit your continued patronage to our services,
Warm Regards,

Absolutely fabulous. Next they should
1. Increase the overall safety of train travel by improving the technology they use to run them (signaling, hardware, communications etc)
2. Improve the level of security and general ambiance on the railway station (cleanliness, hygiene and better policing).
3. Have better communication ON the train - things like - 'The next station is blah blah' in a local language and English.
4. All trains should have automatic doors that are opened by a conductor or the driver when the train arrives at a station or leaves a station.

Little things that go a loooooong way in making train travel a lot more safer and palatable for all strata of the society.
Got more suggestions? Drop a comment. Maybe I will send Lalu a congratulatory note. :)

Thursday, May 08, 2008

My Reasons..

It seems that now everyone has a reason not to like Hillary - here are mine:
- Her convenient invention of the Bosnia Sniper fire.
- Her crazy gas tax idea - even she doesn't believe in it. It just sounds like a good gimmick to throw out to her illiterate base.
- Her portrayal that somehow she deserves this nomination and then the presidency. She comes across as though the country owes it to her. Well even if she becomes the President - I dislike her just for patronizing the general public. No one is born to get the biggest prize - you gotta go and get it. Oh - and Bush is different.
- Her fear mongering tactics - the 3 AM AD, the Osama AD. Its just plain wrong. She proved that she is no better than the republicans. Really - terribly poor taste.
- Her speeches. They are just plane and ordinary: "I had so fun with him and enjoyed doing that". Contrast that with Obama's fiery oratory after the NC/Indiana primary and you will know what I am talking about.

"I love this country too much to see it divided and distracted at this critical moment in history. I believe in our ability to perfect this nation because it's the only reason I'm standing here today. I know the promise of America because I've lived is the light of opportunity that led my father across an ocean, it's the founding ideals that the flag draped over my father's coffin stand for. It's life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. In this country justice can be won against the greatest odds...and when we are told that we can not bring about the change that we seek, we answer in one voice: Yes we can!"
"The attempts to play on our fears and exploit our differences, to turn us against each other for political gain, to slice and dice this country into red states and blue states, blue collar and white collar, white, black, brown, young, old, rich, poor ... this is the race we expect, no matter whether it's myself or Senator Clinton who is the nominee. The question then is not what kind of campaign they will run; it's what kind of campaign we will run."
You gotta look at the whole thing to appreciate it more: